Yesterday I touched on the fact that I’ve lost quite a lot of weight while following the AIP diet and that people who are close to me have started noticing and feeling the need to ask me about it when they’ve seen me for the first time in a while. This is starting to get old… and is making me quite paranoid. But what to do about it?
The photo I posted on Facebook yesterday showed me smiling, dancing and having fun. It got 29 Facebook likes from friends, family and colleagues alike. But it prompted a message from a close family friend expressing shock at how thin I was and asking me if I was ill.
I spoke to a friend about it and she obviously told me not to listen and to just concentrate on the fact that I’m trying to do something good for my health… because she’s a brilliant friend. I spoke to Boyfriend about it and he’s always surprised, saying he thinks I’ve obviously lost weight, but that I look healthy.
But even I have to admit I look pretty skinny in that photo. I guess it’s probably because the jumper isn’t very fitted and my skinny jeans are a little bit too big for me, making it look like the clothes hang off me and making me look even skinnier than I am.
So last night I spent a good hour when I got in researching ways to make yourself look curvy when you’re actually skinny. I got some good tips such as not wearing clothes that are too revealing, clothes that are too baggy or all black and wearing fitted, but not really clingy clothes.
I don’t know entirely how to decipher that, but I tried a different outfit today. I wore a wool skirt with an elasticated waist, which I tucked a cream lace blouse into. One of the other tips was to wear scarves as accessories as that can help… don’t know how, but I thought I’d give it a go. I was pretty happy with the effect and I definitely felt more comfortable and less like I was hiding inside a giant bin liner.
Until someone else asked me about my weight. A friend who I haven’t seen in a while. And my heart sank. I mean, I know I’ve lost about a stone and I know I wasn’t big to begin with, but it’s really starting to make me feel quite paranoid about how I look. Not least because I realise that most people won’t say anything – they’ll just think things and make their own assumptions about why I’m so skinny all of a sudden. And I hate the thought of that.
I was so paranoid last night that I actually came home and took a photo of myself in the mirror. A front shot and a side shot. I don’t know why I thought it would help, but I thought if I could just see a photo of myself without all the clothes getting in the way that I might be able to see whether I was getting too skinny or not.
And I don’t know what you think, but I don’t think I’m TOO skinny. In fact, not wanting to sound like a dick, but I think I actually look pretty good right now. Well, at least when I don’t have any clothes on.
So, maybe that’s the answer. Haha. Time to become a naturist. Maybe not…
But I think there’s really something in the clothing thing. I’ve always been a slim, but curvy girl. I’ve never had to think about dressing like a skinny girl before. So I’m here wearing the same styles I’ve always worn and clearly not managing to accentuate my best assets and what little curve I have. And there is some there! I’m not a complete rake!
I guess that’s why I don’t really understand. Because I look at myself in the mirror when I’m getting changed and I don’t see someone who looks ill. I see someone who looks healthy and in good shape. So maybe the answer is shopping. Don’t you just love it when the answer is shopping?
I really think I need to give myself some spending money, go out to Debenhams and talk to a stylist about what kinds of things I should be wearing so I don’t look so skinny. And just buy at least a couple more outfits. It seems like such a waste as I have loads of perfectly good clothes, but I’m really getting sick of having to justify my weight. Maybe it is just that people care. But I hate that people might be feeling sympathetic about me. I’m fine! I mean, I’m not totally fine. But I don’t have cancer! And I really hate that people might feel sorry for me. Don’t feel sorry for me! I feel great… apart from that pesky pain thing. But I’m working on that, so leave me alone!
Do you have this problem? What do you say to people? How do you make yourself look less skinny?
Breakfast: Pear, banana, clementine
Lunch: Roast beef, broccoli, green beans, peas, sausages, chicken
Snacks: Plantain chips, banana
Pain level (out of 10)
Minimal pain all day, never really getting above a 1 or 2.