Day 45: A good old clear-out to cleanse the soul

I love a good clear-out. I have a big de-clutter probably twice a year usually in Spring and Autumn and it feels great. I’m not sure why my cleansing clear-outs tend to be about six months apart, but I have a sneaky suspicion it’s because the change in weather leads to a change in wardrobe, which leads to me looking at clothes I haven’t worn for six months wondering what I was thinking when I bought that orange rah-rah skirt I’m never going to wear.

So out come the black bin liners and in go at least enough clothes to fill one of them. I used to try and sell them on eBay and try and recoup some of the cash, but since postage has gone up, it’s barely worth the money so I just donate them all to friends or charity shops now. And even though I don’t get any money back, it’s far less stressful not having to sort through and remember to send everything, and you get the feeling you’re doing something good.

I’m only just getting round to this season’s clear-out, which is probably because it’s been quite a mild Autumn and is only just beginning to drop cold. Having said that, I didn’t intend to start clearing out today; it just sort of happened. What I did intend to do was go shopping. Sort of rare for me. I tend to pick up bits and pieces from charity shops when I see them. I never really go out with the intention of spending a good few hours and a good few quid buying new outfits. So why was today different?

Well, if you’ve been following this blog you may have detected that my last couple of posts have had a bit of an underlying sadness to them. Running such a big and successful event over the weekend was great, but it meant lots of photos emerged and I saw lots of people hadn’t seen me for a while. That’s great, but I was upset a couple of times when friends expressed ‘shock’ at my appearance and how ‘skinny’ I am. While I appreciate their concern, it’s not nice to be told someone is shocked at the sight of you and I wondered at the reasons why I would look at myself in the mirror and see a slim, athletic healthy body while other people are seemingly seeing an emaciated, sickly looking person instead.

Body dysmorphia? I really don’t think so. Underweight? Nope, still within normal BMI (Body Mass Index) range. So what then? Boyfriend and I have put it down to my clothes. Not only has my body shape changed, my clothes are now two sizes too big for me, drowning me in baggy fabric and making me look much skinnier than I am. So the mission: get down to Primark and buy as many size 6 clothes as I can.

Mission accomplished. Despite being decidedly unpractised at shopping, I actually did quite well today, spending over £100 on skirts, jeans, tops, and jumpers. I have also bought a couple of bras since the weekend. I haven’t worn a bra in about three months, which was admittedly liberating, but probably not helping on the curves front.

Upon entering the house bags in hand and traipsing it all up the stairs, I realised there was going to have to be more to this re-clothing myself malarky than just buying a load of new stuff. I had to figure out what out of the clothes I already have would still fit me and look good. So begins the epic try-every-single-item-of-clothing-I-have marathon. It took stamina. There could easily have been a montage. I’m imagining the Rocky soundtrack.

I filled two black bin liners with clothes that are too big for me. Some of those clothes were pretty expensive, but instead of feeling like I was losing out, I felt good, like I was cleansing my soul by clearing out my wardrobe. There’s quite a lot of info out there bestowing the virtues of having a good clear-out, suggesting that it can help you de-stress and create a calm environment in your home.

Trying on every item of clothing I owned gave me the excuse to organise my wardrobe properly as well, so the first thing I see in the morning will no longer be a jumble sale of clothes, most of which I don’t know whether fit me. Instead, everything is organised into skirts, trousers, tops, dresses and I know that every single item in that wardrobe will look great on me. I’m hoping this will lead to an even more positive start to my days and a more relaxed morning.

Super tidy wardrobe

This is what I was going for. Pretty much will never be that tidy…

I’m feeling more positive already. I’ve embraced some brighter colours in my clothing choices and some shapes I haven’t worn before… because I guess I can now I’m a skinny girl. So, I’m looking forward to waking up in the morning and deciding what to wear.

Lesson learned: Don’t let people get you down. If you start to feel anxious, look inwardly. Is there anything you can do to make you feel better?

When was the last time you had a good clear-out? How did it feel?


Food diary
Breakfast: Smoothie (banana, avocado, spinach, cherries, coconut milk, coconut water, ground ginger)
Lunch: Bacon salad
Dinner: Roasted quail with steamed veg (red cabbage, cauliflower, broccoli, carrots)
Snacks: Mixed dried fruit (bananas, dates, mango), plantain chips, macadamia nuts, paleo fruit and nut bar

Pain level (out of 10)
Zero. Hooray!


Photo credit: https://www.flickr.com/photos/silverfox09/

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